So...I've been deviantly absent from this blog...as well as from the sugar-bowl in general.
To make it up to you [my readers]: a few mental spasms.
(Love you guys, by the way)...
-Readers - especially chicks - figure out what you want [in relationships, sexually, in life] and state it [openly, blatantly, without hesitation]. It can change. It will change as you age and as you become more comfortable with yourself and as you experience more things. But never be ashamed of it, and never ever compromise 'what you want' for results. Euphemize it...yeah, sure, this is how humans get along. But don't compromise it.
Charles Taylor [the philosopher, not the dictator] posits authenticity as the locus of salvation from 20th century existentialist crisis. [Think cruxifiction for the disenchanted, atheist or agnostic, disembedded 20-th century modern (wo)man].
I agree. Authenticity is difficult to strive for...because there are so many material/social/cultural 'benefits' to inauthenticity...and it is so ladened with cultural/social pressures that it's hard to find out what authenticity [for you] even is...but it's there. And if you get that gut cringe [I'm imagining the base of a jelly fish contracting...that sort of delicate, curved, lacy pulling in]...then don't go there.
No. I don't mean that. Stop when you see it pulling in, and ask yourself: what's causing that gut, emotive, physical, instinctual contraction?
And learn from it.
Women earn less. Women are poorer salary negotiators when applying for jobs. Personally, I view this as the product of both a cultural fabric that presents passivity and manipulation as the locus of social and economic success for women...as well as the result of the shock/de-frabulation/ that mainstream feminism has inflicted on concepts of appropriate life course/success/happiness for women.
In other words, there is no longer a rudimentary, instinctual social script for how people should behave or for what people should want from life or what they should strive for...
And confused people are poor negotiators. So trust your gut.
-Readers (especially dudes) - balance the allure of freedom and experimentation and the chance to attain what you thought was lost opportunity with stability. Think about...project yourself...at 60. Or 70. Life is, in part, an intangible web of momentary adventure, in part, a tangible pathway, road, trajectory of shared experience. Life...as you experience it...is a mix of both things. And there is no way to make up for 15-30 years of shared moments with someone.
In short...don't toss aside the quilt you spent the last 15-30 years sewing with someone for a shiny, silky ribbon dangling on the periphery of your vision. Yes, crimson satin is prettier than cotton squares...but the quilt is ultimately what will warm and comfort you in those last years.
-Readers (all) - try to make the world a better place!!
p.s. - I'm a bit tippers...so am a bit philosophize-ey. Promise a light-hearted post in the near future!