Thursday, February 23, 2012

If You're Going to do PTP, Please At Least Be as Discreet/Respectful as a John!!

Here’s some great advice for those PTP-ers with expectations for intimacy:

At the start of a date, please present the [compensation/allowance installment/gift/donation/token of generosity] promptly. If you don’t, this will (especially if you’re meeting a woman who has never done this before or has been jilted; or have not explicitly agreed on a set amount) make her hesitant, colder, more nervous, and less trusting. If you have not agreed on a specific amount, veer towards the generous end of that range. Doing so will engender good-will. i.e., doing more than you have to will make her think, “aw, shucks, what a great guy!” and your relationship may even come to be more gift-exchange than purchasing services. Don’t give a gift or a “tip” every time or else it’ll just become a part of what she expects and will no longer have the effect it once did.

Phrasing the gift as a ‘donation range’ is…useful, because it can include meetings of various duration… the down-side of ‘donation ranges’ is that she’ll always end up feeling a bit jilted if you go below the max amount of the range…and will think about the $$$ more because she won’t be able to know what she’s getting. I think the best way to go is to establish something that’s fair and a bit lower than you’re comfortable with, go beyond that regularly but not always, and simply increase the $$ amount in line with the duration of your meeting in a fairly predictable way.

Write her name on an otherwise blank envelope (extra points if you include a thoughtful card or draw something on it) and either slip it inside her purse, leave it in a visible place within your hotel room/her apartment, or [best of all] tuck the envelope inside a book/dvd-box you think she’d enjoy or a gift-bag (with a bottle of wine, some toiletries, a piece of jewelry) and hand it to her directly.

Allow her to see it but do not make a comment about it. PLEASE JUST DO IT! Do not pull bills out of your wallet and count them and then hand them to her! Do not drop crumpled or loose bills inside her purse! 50s and 100s are especially nice…and very impressive. 20s are a bit like play-money. (Sorry, but it bugs me when SDs are less thoughtful about handing you cash than clients). The erotic review has some great suggestions re etiquette around this.

Please let the time you are together happen naturally. Do not try to talk about services and what she is going to do for you … (unless this was a part of your pre-PTP flirtation & chemistry/dynamic). Honestly, grab a ‘pick-up artist’ instruction book & try the advice out…In my humble opinion, the only way for this to not be prostitution is if you can actually seduce the chick before getting physical… and with PTP, you have less time and you aren’t taking the risk of giving cash or material gifts and getting nothing…so it doesn’t have as much of the damsel-in-distress-to-white-knight-affection-mechanism going.

Great ways to break the ice are to ask a lot about her (non-personal things) and listen closely, or by talking about sexy subjects, films, books, movies, experiences, etc., and to complement her in a creative, thoughtful way. Also – games. Stormy can tell you about the ‘box’ game; truth or dare also works. Or offer her a back-rub. I don’t know. Read the book.

Unfortunately, you aren’t seeing a professional…so you do have to think. Watch her body-language & don’t push things. If she seems uncomfortable (with you moving closer, with being kissed, with being touched, with a request to undress, whatever…), take it slower. Unfortunately, you aren’t seeing a professional, so you have to do some of the seduction work.

If your attempts at breaking the ice/creating chemistry/whatever fail, ask her if she feels uncomfortable with this…or how she’s feeling…or if she has something on her mind. Listen & try to get a feel if it’s ‘discomfort with sugar’, ‘moving too quickly’ or…you. Say something like “hey, don’t do this if you aren’t comfortable with it.” or “would you like to just hang out?” Be prepared to give financial or career or personal life counseling at this point.

Hey, you may not get laid, but you’ll probably get some cuddling in and the glow of a girl who thinks you’re “a really nice, sweet guy.” And you won’t leave feeling like you’ve taken advantage of someone.

Be respectful of her time and also of not making her feel like a whore. Don’t just get up, dressed and dash the moment after, unless you have to (a bit of cuddling, a drink or something is always nice). But also be respectful of her time-constraints. If she seems antsy/like she isn’t mentally there any more, ask what else she has to do that day, or ask her if she has time to have a glass of wine, or ask her if she has time for you to show her something…that basically gives her an ‘out’ if she wants to dash.

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