Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Rhetoric as Empty as a Russian Nesting Doll

Epcatusa.com has created a juvenile Russian nesting doll named Emma.

Emma is a child sex slave.

You can strip Emma nude by clicking on her.

By clicking on her, you also learn 'facts about child sexual slavery.'

Okay... I'm going to ignore the bizarre-ness of the 'Child-sex-slave-nesting-doll-strip-tease' thing EpCat has set up. And not talk about how wrong it is that you have to take Emma's clothes off to 'learn' about sex trafficking. And focus on the 'data' given:

Epcat begins by painting a global picture of the issue:
  • There are more sex slaves today than before. 
  • One million of them are children. 
  • According to Unicef, the number of trafficked children increases by 1.2 million each year.
Okay. Are all of the minors in the sex trade slaves?  


 What is the average age of marriage, or entry into the workforce, for women in communities where most minors in the sex trade come from?  



Are all of the children trafficked each year trafficked into pornography or prostitution??

 Unclear. [The actual answer is no ... but ... ]

Now Epcat Moves back to the U.S. ...

  • 2.8 million American children run away from home every year. -- Many of them are lured into prostitution. 
  • 200,000 American Children are at risk of sexual slavery every year. 
  • They can be as young as 11 years old.


But if 2.8 million children run away from home every year, why are only 200,000 of them at risk of sexual slavery?


Also - what is the median age of these runaways (who are at risk of 'sexual slavery?') My guess is not eleven...but still...

and one last time, unclear

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Deviant Me....

So...I've been deviantly absent from this blog...as well as from the sugar-bowl in general.

To make it up to you [my readers]: a few mental spasms.

(Love you guys, by the way)...

-Readers - especially chicks - figure out what you want [in relationships, sexually, in life] and state it [openly, blatantly, without hesitation]. It can change. It will change as you age and  as you become more comfortable with yourself and as you experience more things. But never be ashamed of it, and never ever compromise 'what you want' for results. Euphemize it...yeah, sure, this is how humans get along. But don't compromise it.

Charles Taylor [the philosopher, not the dictator] posits authenticity as the locus of salvation from 20th century existentialist crisis. [Think cruxifiction for the disenchanted, atheist or agnostic, disembedded 20-th century modern (wo)man].

I agree. Authenticity is difficult to strive for...because there are so many material/social/cultural 'benefits' to inauthenticity...and it is so ladened with cultural/social pressures that it's hard to find out what authenticity [for you] even is...but it's there. And if you get that gut cringe [I'm imagining the base of a jelly fish contracting...that sort of delicate, curved, lacy pulling in]...then don't go there.

No. I don't mean that. Stop when you see it pulling in, and ask yourself: what's causing that gut, emotive, physical, instinctual contraction?

And learn from it.

Women earn less. Women are poorer salary negotiators when applying for jobs. Personally, I view this as the product of both a cultural fabric that presents passivity and manipulation as the locus of social and economic success for women...as well as the result of the shock/de-frabulation/ that mainstream feminism has inflicted on concepts of appropriate life course/success/happiness for women.

In other words, there is no longer a rudimentary, instinctual social script for how people should behave or for what people should want from life or what they should strive for...

And confused people are poor negotiators. So trust your gut.

-Readers (especially dudes) - balance the allure of freedom and experimentation and the chance to attain what you thought was lost opportunity with stability. Think about...project yourself...at 60. Or 70. Life is, in part, an intangible web of momentary adventure, in part, a tangible pathway, road, trajectory of shared experience. Life...as you experience it...is a mix of both things. And there is no way to make up for 15-30 years of shared moments with someone.

In short...don't toss aside the quilt you spent the last 15-30 years sewing with someone for a shiny, silky ribbon dangling on the periphery of your vision. Yes, crimson satin is prettier than cotton squares...but the quilt is ultimately what will warm and comfort you in those last years.

-Readers (all) - try to make the world a better place!!

p.s. - I'm a bit tippers...so am a bit philosophize-ey. Promise a light-hearted post in the near future!

Thursday, February 23, 2012

If You're Going to do PTP, Please At Least Be as Discreet/Respectful as a John!!

Here’s some great advice for those PTP-ers with expectations for intimacy:

At the start of a date, please present the [compensation/allowance installment/gift/donation/token of generosity] promptly. If you don’t, this will (especially if you’re meeting a woman who has never done this before or has been jilted; or have not explicitly agreed on a set amount) make her hesitant, colder, more nervous, and less trusting. If you have not agreed on a specific amount, veer towards the generous end of that range. Doing so will engender good-will. i.e., doing more than you have to will make her think, “aw, shucks, what a great guy!” and your relationship may even come to be more gift-exchange than purchasing services. Don’t give a gift or a “tip” every time or else it’ll just become a part of what she expects and will no longer have the effect it once did.

Phrasing the gift as a ‘donation range’ is…useful, because it can include meetings of various duration… the down-side of ‘donation ranges’ is that she’ll always end up feeling a bit jilted if you go below the max amount of the range…and will think about the $$$ more because she won’t be able to know what she’s getting. I think the best way to go is to establish something that’s fair and a bit lower than you’re comfortable with, go beyond that regularly but not always, and simply increase the $$ amount in line with the duration of your meeting in a fairly predictable way.

Write her name on an otherwise blank envelope (extra points if you include a thoughtful card or draw something on it) and either slip it inside her purse, leave it in a visible place within your hotel room/her apartment, or [best of all] tuck the envelope inside a book/dvd-box you think she’d enjoy or a gift-bag (with a bottle of wine, some toiletries, a piece of jewelry) and hand it to her directly.

Allow her to see it but do not make a comment about it. PLEASE JUST DO IT! Do not pull bills out of your wallet and count them and then hand them to her! Do not drop crumpled or loose bills inside her purse! 50s and 100s are especially nice…and very impressive. 20s are a bit like play-money. (Sorry, but it bugs me when SDs are less thoughtful about handing you cash than clients). The erotic review has some great suggestions re etiquette around this.

Please let the time you are together happen naturally. Do not try to talk about services and what she is going to do for you … (unless this was a part of your pre-PTP flirtation & chemistry/dynamic). Honestly, grab a ‘pick-up artist’ instruction book & try the advice out…In my humble opinion, the only way for this to not be prostitution is if you can actually seduce the chick before getting physical… and with PTP, you have less time and you aren’t taking the risk of giving cash or material gifts and getting nothing…so it doesn’t have as much of the damsel-in-distress-to-white-knight-affection-mechanism going.

Great ways to break the ice are to ask a lot about her (non-personal things) and listen closely, or by talking about sexy subjects, films, books, movies, experiences, etc., and to complement her in a creative, thoughtful way. Also – games. Stormy can tell you about the ‘box’ game; truth or dare also works. Or offer her a back-rub. I don’t know. Read the book.

Unfortunately, you aren’t seeing a professional…so you do have to think. Watch her body-language & don’t push things. If she seems uncomfortable (with you moving closer, with being kissed, with being touched, with a request to undress, whatever…), take it slower. Unfortunately, you aren’t seeing a professional, so you have to do some of the seduction work.

If your attempts at breaking the ice/creating chemistry/whatever fail, ask her if she feels uncomfortable with this…or how she’s feeling…or if she has something on her mind. Listen & try to get a feel if it’s ‘discomfort with sugar’, ‘moving too quickly’ or…you. Say something like “hey, don’t do this if you aren’t comfortable with it.” or “would you like to just hang out?” Be prepared to give financial or career or personal life counseling at this point.

Hey, you may not get laid, but you’ll probably get some cuddling in and the glow of a girl who thinks you’re “a really nice, sweet guy.” And you won’t leave feeling like you’ve taken advantage of someone.

Be respectful of her time and also of not making her feel like a whore. Don’t just get up, dressed and dash the moment after, unless you have to (a bit of cuddling, a drink or something is always nice). But also be respectful of her time-constraints. If she seems antsy/like she isn’t mentally there any more, ask what else she has to do that day, or ask her if she has time to have a glass of wine, or ask her if she has time for you to show her something…that basically gives her an ‘out’ if she wants to dash.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

College Coed Seeks Business Traveler with Spare Pillow Mints

So...here you are now, ready to attack the posts of backpage. You prepare to recognize the unmistakable tone of 'the backpage escort ad.' No. you don't recognize it at all. But now that you think about it, who ever said 'escort ads' have an unmistakable tone? On the contrary, escorts are entities that vary greatly from one to the next. And in these very differences you recognize the poster as...an escort. Here, however, this post seems to have little connection with the rest. Are you a disappointed? Let's see. Perhaps at first you feel a bit lost, as when a person appears who, from the name, you identified with a certain type of face, and you try to make the features you are seeing tally with those you had in your mind... But then you go on and you realize that this escort is  [ehem] able nevertheless, independently of what you expected of escorts, and it's this post...in itself...that arouses your curiosity; in fact, on sober reflection, you prefer it this way, confronting something and not quite knowing what it is yet...

The stranger I want to meet is called "Business Traveler" and that is the only thing you know about him, but this alone is reason enough for you to invest a part of yourself in the stranger. Just as I, since I have no intention of telling about myself, decided to call the character "business traveler" in order to conceal him, not having to name him or describe him, because any other name or attribute would define my desire more sharply than this archetype. Nothing could be easier for you than to identify yourself with him; from the beginning, his subjectivity is that of a man who is chilly [it's Febuary in the North-East, after all], listless, well educated, and whose pockets are filled with superfluous pillow mints. From the beginning, his subjectivity is that of a bemused, curious and (possibly) desiring heterosexual businessman...precisely the stranger I desire to see.
But the post refers you to something that is about to happen...that could happen...and it is this something else that makes it risky for you, the reader, to identify with "business traveler" and for it's author: me.

Friday, February 17, 2012

How NOT to Contact an SB: World Championship!!!

The blog is Currently Sponsoring "How Not to Contact an SB - World Championships."

Submissions will be taken through March 20. The winner will receive a gift-certificate for a mani-pedi-massage at a salon near her. 

To Begin:

* 1 *
May I ask u a few questions? Is this ur correct age and r u living here, r u currently working, r u married or have u been, do u have children and their ages, who r u living with now, how tall r u and how much do u weigh, what size jeans and bra do u wear, what exactly r u looking for here on SD, a SD or a serious relationship, and if u find what u r looking for r u willing to relocate? If u r interested pls give me ur number and I will call u. I will not go to yahoo messenger.

I'm not sure if this is a - the result of too many bait & switches; b - the result of having been contacted by too many web-cam-scammers; c - some mix of autism & phone-text-messaging. I'm not sure if I'm more annoyed by a- the lack of personalization; b - the 'r's and 'u's & lack of punctuation; c-the [14] questions. This SD, however, does win points for succinctness, however!!
* 2 *
Subject: I would love to Meet You
Message: Asap

No exclamation mark even? How rude!

* 3 *
Generous SD looking for a very oral playmate to see 4/5 times a month with an allowance......

For christ's sake. Even escort-clients are not so specific. Sheesh

* 4 *

Same as above, but worse. Also...why the caps? PS - EE is okay...I get implants...but 48? Being licked all over by a hairy giant & a buxom-esque giantess...wow. Sounds perfect.

* 5 *
Hi, how are you doing? I like your profile. I am interested in getting to know you more and possibly have an ongoing mutually beneficial arrangement. I would love to spoil you rotten :) Can i see your private pics? Let me know if you are interested in a generous daddy. If interested, let me know how I can reach you, email or phone.. thanks
This is the 4th time you've sent me the same form-message. Can you not keep your pot-SBs straight? Also - love the originality here...cliches are not the way to a pot-SBs heart...or other organs...thank you very much.

New Management

This post is to notify you that the "SB" formerly known as "Meg" (henceforth "buttahfly-BB") is now under new management.

All communications with "Buttahfly-BB" will subsequently be handled by myself, Lola "big-momma-pimp" Tia.

In order to ensure "SDs" a standard quality of warmth, affection, chemistry & kink (aka. sugah) & streamline sugah provision, "Buttahfly-BB" will no longer be offering the same sugah-exchanges as you may have come to expect:

Beginning Febuary 22, "Buttahfly-BB" will no longer engage in p4p interactions after in-person meetings with SDs she finds to be "incredibly sexy" "funny" or "attractive."

Henceforth "potential SDs" will have the opportunity to apply for a "trainee position" (entitled "client.") "Clients" will be "test-driven" by "Buttahfly-BB" at the going "courtesan rates" for a duration of at least two months.

"Clients" who demonstrate "chemistry," "affection," "trustworthiness," "reliability" and "more than John-ness" throughout the "trainee period" will have the option to apply for "SD-status" and "a re-structure of the sugah exchange" via our prestigious review board.

Yours Cordially,

 Lola "big-momma-pimp" Tia

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Playing games with Gamers

If I told a woman that I was a pickup artist before sleeping with her, she'd still have sex with me, but she'd make me wait a week or two longer just to ensure that she was different from all the other girls. If I told a girl I was a pickup artist after sleeping with her, she was usually amused & intrigued by the whole idea, and convinced that I hadn't been running game on her. However, her tolerance for the community lasted only until we broke up or stopped seeing each other, at which point it was used against me.

-Neill Strauss: The Game

For some reason...pick-up artists sometimes find their way onto SA. I'm not really sure why. It's rather strange.

But honestly, I love SA pick-up artists. Seriously. 

SA pick-up artists...they're really sort of a sex-worker-permutation...they turn tricks for sex. Sex workers turn tricks for cash. 

Same skill-set, same wave-length...know what I'm saying?

That said, I don't sleep with pick-up artists.

Er...no, that's not right. I don't sleep with pick-up artists for free.

See- that's the trick.

Pick-up artists really couldn't give a fuck about fucking. What they want is conquest...they get off on getting you to do something you don't....realllly want to do. It's really more about the rush of gaining emotional power over a woman. Sex is really only a symbol of that.

Paying is really a symbol that negates the symbolic submission in sex...

It's that simple. It really is.

I can spot a pick-up artist very early on. I can spot him because I can see the game & I can almost feel his mind working...as he's trying to consciously gain an emotional edge. 

It's really fun. It ends up being quite like a fencing match.

And my main weapon are rules. 

My rules are: you can pay me for sex, or you can wait 20 dates. 

If I fuck him for free, he wins. If he pays me for sex, I win. A pick-up artist can't 'win' the game if he explicitly pays cash. I can't win the game unless I'm explicitly given cash for sex.

Pretty simple. 

I normally allude to rules on the first date. And by the third or fourth, I drop the bomb: 'okay. so...you can either wait 16 more dates. Or you can pay me. Pretty simple.' 

I drop the bomb after he's sent out the traditional emergency-emotionally--manipulative artilliary of 'you want an emotional connection...that's just not something I can give' or 'god, you must have been burned before, don't you trust me?' or 'you're uptight. Why are you so uptight? You're a good girl, aren't you...live a little.'
Anything but 'the bomb' simply affirms those statements. It's like...saying 'yes, I do want an emotional connection.' or 'YES! I AM uptight!' or 'YESSS, I have been burned before and I can't trust you.'

But dropping the 'p' bomb unshrouds the game. It makes it painfully obvious what he's after (or else...a few hundred bucks is nothing...oder?)

You have to package the 'p' bomb in the right way, though.

$500. I mean, you make 500K right? It's not that big of a deal. I mean, you've already racked up 350-ish on drinks. And it'd wind up being cheaper than 16 more dates.

Oh, actually, I really don't need the money. Yeah. I have a lot saved up. & I have a full ride & my parents do rent & car insurance and stuff. If you want, you can just donate it to a charity. I can suggest some.

...yeah, I'm sure you're a good person & donate money. That's great but I mean, if you're already doing that, like, you aren't doing it for me so it really doesn't count as payment. Um, if you bring an e-receipt from that, that's fine. Or you can give me a check made out to the organization & deposit it. As you prefer.

Oh. If you don't support empowering girls in third-world countries, that's fair. We all have our personal leanings. Well, um, you could just give it to that homeless guy over there. As long as I see it, that's fine too.

I mean, you could just burn the bills. That sounds like fun. But sort of wasteful. But then again, spending 350 on drinks is also sort of wasteful.

And my fucking god, it really is quite like a bomb.

*     *     *

I've never won the game. I've never lost the game. 

It normally ends in a stale-mate on the 10 or so date...but I've gotten it to 15 once. I've even met one guy's work colleagues and sister & gotten taken on a week-long trip.

But it's a fun challenge...for me to make the match last as long as possible.

Quite a work out, though. Must say.

p.s. - I'm actually a sweet-heart to nice people! I really am! Just...it's sometimes fun to give evil pick-up artists a taste of their own medicine. That's all.