Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Tumble-Weeds in Sugar-Land

Searching for sugar in the sugar-bowl can be difficult. There are a lot of poofs, flakes, and fakes. So why?

Let me start out by saying- site-wide, there are an average of 10 SBs/1 SD. (In my city, the ratio is approximately 6:1).

At least in my own city, the ratio of new SBs to new SDs exceeds the overall ratio. In other words, on average, 12.6 SBs join for every 1.3 SD, and an average of 8.6 SBs join daily.

The more experienced the SB or SD is, the better he or she is at negotiating the terms of the relationship in his or her favor. Or, put in negative terms, the less experienced an SB or SD is with sugar dating, the more likely it is that he or she will agree to arrangements that are not in his or her favor.

The following excerpt, from 2009-ish on the SA blog, illustrates the conundrum:

After reading through this thread and others, and having participated in this site for about six months, I am convinced that 95% of the women on this site either (1) have no idea what they want or (2) have no idea what a SD wants. I’m not flaming, I just want to offer you some perspective.
For reference, I earn about $500k per year, am in my mid-thirties and am considered attractive.
In six months, I have met approx. 50 SBs from this and another site. I have very specific taste and screen for intelligence prior to meeting, but probably have more meetings than most guys because I prefer to cut to the chase and see if there is chemistry.

1) About 25% of those SBs have no real “number” in their own mind prior to meeting. They want to be around a successful, interesting guy whom they probably wouldn’t meet day-to-day and get to experience some new things. Most are college girls, are more comfortable with intimacy than the norm, and are a little embarassed about the money side of things. The end result for the 5-10% of men on this site who are truly desirable is that quite a few young, attractive women will come home with you on the first date and have very few expectations. They appreciate whatever help is offered, but feel awkward about negotiating. I sleep with 2/3 of this group on the first date.

2) Another 50% show up on a first date with a set of demands, essentially...

3) Finally, 25% show up looking for a real connection in addition to some help in life, and they tend to be pretty flexible about arrangements depending on the level of chemistry. They understand that, even if they are not your GF, they had better make you feel like it while you’re together and vice versa. About half of these SBs will engage in NSA fun on the first date without any real talk of an arrangement.

In my case, I signed up looking for a classy, intelligent and educated woman in the last category, but have found that the cost/benefit ratio just isn’t there when attractive college and post-college girls are trolling here for “older BFs with limits."

Not all SDs think this way. Experienced SDs -- those who are attached to the concept of being a sugar daddy & have been one before -- will most likely not abandon their search for their perfect SB and perfect sugar relationship in favor of a wanton stream of hook-ups with loose & horny college chicks.

But just like the majority of SBs are newbies to sugar-dating, many of the SDs are newbies to the 'arrangement' concept. And so...the over-abundance of NSA relationships ultimately make it easy for SD-newbies to not act like SDs while on Sugar Dating sites.

1 comment:

  1. @ Midwest re. "Interesting, although somewhat inaccurate, reflection of those you mention in your blog about those of us on this blog. It’s just opinion, so no worries."

    Thanks - Good point! This (and the following) blog post was primarily about SBs I've met off-blog, rather than on-blog. Comments made by one individual on the SA blog simply reminded me of that. I've edited it, and will try to be more careful in the future!!!